Ever ask for directions and get the snappy comeback: “You can’t get there from here”?
That’s how I felt at the beginning of my journey from being a guy who could barely get dates to someone who could get a date anytime I wanted, with basically any woman I wanted.
But when I started out, I had no clue.
I had a lot to learn about women and dating. Some lessons were pretty basic. Some much harder and more painful.
Long story short… it was a long road from “dateless and lonely” to now being in the relationship of my dreams. That’s why, today, I wanted to share my 3 biggest “a-ha” moments along the way… and hopefully let my experience help speed the journey for you, too.
A-Ha #1: Realizing That I Could Actually Change Things
When I was younger, I didn’t understand how attraction really worked with women. Therefore, I didn’t stand a chance of creating it.
But, once I started learning from the guys who DID know how to do it (guys who weren’t any more handsome, rich, or awesome than I was) I realized that I could do it, too… and this changed my entire mindset.
After all, these extremely average guys didn’t have magic powers. All they had were their attitudes, words and actions.
This realization jump-started my journey – it meant there was a way of approaching interactions with women that would switch on chemistry and create attraction with them… as opposed to, say, everything that I had been doing.
Knowing just this much created a new reality for me, and I was on my way.
A-Ha #2: Realizing That Relationships Take Something DIFFERENT
I spent years learning how to spark attraction with great women, and it worked. From avoiding the screw-ups to saying and doing the right things, I finally had the “process” down… and more dates than I knew what to do with.
In other words, I thought I was home free when it came to love.
Not even close.
As I tried to create relationships with women using this same process, I realized that all the stuff that got me dates in the first place suddenly became lethal.
I found myself stuck… relying on the same behaviors that attract women (teasing… never acting needy… communicating supreme confidence at ALL times) instead of learning what it took to move things forward into a deeper relationship.
Finally the light clicked on that I was never really being me. I was always trying too hard. I was still scared and immature on the inside no matter how I acted on the outside.
But, as I learned, I adjusted course again. I dedicated myself to getting un-stuck… learning how to feel genuinely confident and in control as a mature man instead of just acting that way.
A-Ha #3: Realizing That I’d Found The Right Woman
There was a lot of trial and error involved in all of this… can you tell? And, with it, came a lot of doubt. I was always wondering if I were making the right choices, including the ultimate choice:
How would I know when I’d met the woman who was “right” for me?
Here’s what I discovered:
Once I was with the right woman, all fear of committing to her disappeared. I was able to let go of the shtick, the techniques, and the trying-too-hard. And that opened up previously unknown pathways to intimacy, communication, and collaboration like I’d never known before.
Simply put… when I was with her, everything felt so easy. So joyful and fulfilling. More safe and valuable than in all of my other experiences with women put together.
In other words, when you find the partner that’s right for you, you know it – there’s no overlooking your new happiness, growth, and fulfillment.
But like I said… to get there, you need to take the whole journey. There are no shortcuts. Take one, and you’ll just arrive at the next stop unprepared for the challenges waiting for you there.
Remember: If you’re willing to learn, grow and evolve as a man, the mission isn’t impossible.
You really CAN get there from here.